Money doesn't always bring happiness. A man with 10 million dollars isn't any happier than a man with 9 million dollars.

A mother and daughter were watching a 1930s movie on TV. As it ended with the usual romantic clinch and fade-out of tat era, the teenager said, "Gosh, Mom, your movies ended where ours begins."

"My mother-in-law passed away last week."

"What was the complaint?"

"There was no complaint. Everybody was satisfied."

First Neighbor: We're going to move. We're going to be living in a better neighborhood.

Second Neighbor: So are we.

First Neighbor: Oh, are you moving too?

Second Neighbor: No, we're staying right here.

A distraught mother went to the psychiatrist and said that her son was always making mud pies, and when he had finished them he ate them.

"That's not too unusual," said the psychiatrist, "Lots of boys make mud pies and try to eat them"

"I'm not so sure of that," said the mother, "and neither is my son's wife."

And then there's the city where crime has gotten so bad that some citizens figure muggings into their budgets.